The Swami Knows All ...
The Chicken Band. "Good morning, girls, what a positively egg-shaped day, I feel so refreshed and alert, and I owe it all to my new spiritual advisor, Swami Guzaganda, he's the most wonderful teacher, and has an answer for everything, but I must confess it's not always easy, I mean, I asked him about this whole television debacle, and he answered, "Just as the swan penetrates the cloud, so will the clouds penetrate the wall of unbeing," and what I'd like to know is, does anybody here have any idea what the heck that means? ..."
The Chicken Band. "Well, Hermengilda, how did you like your first session with Swami Guzaganda, wasn't he just too powerful for words, what did you ask him, oh for goodness sakes, he's not a weight-loss guru, well, what did he say? ... "as the essence devours the outer shell, so shall the spirit digest the essence," how true, I've often noticed that, it may be a little difficult to penetrate his meaning, but once you do, how rewarding, whoops, it's eleven o'clock, anybody for an English muffin? ..."
The Chicken Band. "Oh, girls, I just had the most egg-shaped idea, and if you'll just hear me out without any of those rather crass interruptions you're prone to, well, to be brief, my thought is, why not consult with Swami Guzaganda about all these difficulties we seem to have had lately, all the misunderstandings on our out of town raindancing and our little traffic accident, and the television fiasco, well, it seems as though we need a guiding hand, and who better than the Swami, did I tell you he enlightened me just this morning, yes, he said, "Penetrate the wall of being with the fire of ..." something or other, I forget, but I felt so intellectually and spiritually enriched, what do you think, Hermengilda? ..."
The Chicken Band. "Oh, Your Swaminess, we have decided
to sit at your feet as a group to seek spiritual
and guidance because we seem to have had so many awkward situations,
well, actually, disasters and we do not understand what forces
may be at work to snatch away each success, and the more we seek
to share our unique gift with others, the worse things seem to turn
out, and we are quite puzzled as to what to do next, so we are turning
to you, Swami Guzaganda, and ... what's that? You wish to have a
taste of our musical delights, a brief passage from one of our ...
well, how about "Take the Last Train to Clucksville," or no, there is
like a classic, so let's hear "Cheap Chopped Chicken Feather Rag," all
together, girls, hit it! ..."
The Chicken Band. "Swami Guzaganda, I simply don't know
what to say, your lack of musical taste is an
surely you cannot have achieved such spiritual heights without cultivating
the Muse of Harmony, we do too harmonize, and that remark about
our tone quality was entirely uncalled for, well, Your Swaminess,
you may be highly thought of in circles where they cultivate the Infinite,
but I have to say your taste is all in your mouth, and that's
not saying much, come on, girls, we need to look elsewhere
for enlightenment on our life's path, oh gosh, Frusnelda, do I have
to think of everything for you, Washington Roost March, and stifle
that backbeat! ..."
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